Mercy - Misericorde

Aulina Presendieu

The first time that I contemplated the thought that I may have a vocation was in 2000.  I’d just begun doing youth ministry and was attending a three-day retreat with the youth group.  At the concluding Mass, one of the retreat leaders called myself and another girl to the alter to have the priest give us a special blessing since we were young people working with other young people.  As I was walking back to the dorms to pick up my stuff after the Mass, a woman confronted me and said “Congratulations!”  And I asked her, “For what reason?”  Then she continued and said, “Because you are going to be a nun.”  I thought maybe she was confusing me for someone else so I told her that I was not going to be a nun.  She, however, persisted and continued to say that indeed I was.  She thought so because of the blessing the priest gave earlier at the mass.  Either that woman was confused or I was.  So, I just continued to walk to the dorms as if nothing happened.  As I walked further down towards the dorms, a few other people were congratulating me as well and asking me when was I going to the convent?  I left that retreat so confused because almost every one that was there heard the priest bless me because I was going to be a nun, something I have no recollection of.

            After that retreat, I went home thinking: Could this be real?  Could God be calling me to be a nun?  I remember shortly after that, I went to a discernment weekend with a friend of mine to further explore this idea of becoming a nun.  At the end of that retreat, my confusion deepened, so I went home and knelt before my bed and asked God for the permission to stop discerning because I was overwhelmed.  The whole notion that He could be calling me to be a nun was taking a toll on me. 

As time went on, I decided that I was going to focus on being the best Catholic that I can be.  I did this by trying to live according to the Gospel each and every day.  I felt this great yearning in my heart to please God.  I wanted to be a daughter that God the Father would be pleased with.  I also wanted to glorify God through and in everything I did.  I knew that there was something more to this life and what I was living was not it.  I was tired of living for the world.  I wanted to live for God now.

 In July of 2003 my youth group and I attended a youth retreat entitled “Youth 2000.”  I remember the week before attending this retreat the Lord put this prayer in my heart “ God give me the strength to say yes to Your Will always.”  On July 17, 2003, we had a procession with Jesus in the Monstrance and when the priest stood in front of me with Jesus, I felt His presence and His love a way that I never felt before.  It was as if the whole world had stopped at that very moment.  The King of the World stood in front of me and I knew at that moment that the Lord was calling me to be His and only His.  Even though I was in a tent with hundreds of other people, it was as if Jesus and I were the only 2 people on this earth.  I remember just saying, “ yes, yes, yes” repeatedly. 

            Shortly after that retreat, I went to Medjugorje, which is a place where Blessed Mother has been appearing since 1981.  I guess it is fitting that Jesus proposed to me in July and in August He brought me to His Mother.  My life was changed in Medjugorje.  I received many graces.  I became extremely closer to Blessed Mother and I remember asking Blessed Mother to help me become the woman that God the Father created me to be.  Since then, I know that she has been shaping me to become just that.  Upon my return from Medjugorje, I begin looking at many different orders.  In the beginning it was very difficult.  There are so many orders out there but only one is for me.  I became overwhelmed with the process.  I thought what if I ended up in the wrong convent?  Or, what if I made the wrong decision?  I then prayed and opened the bible to Jeremiah chapter 29 VS 11 and it says, “ I know well the plans I have in mind for you, plans to give you a future full of hope,” I felt at peace again.

 I finally visited this order called “The Sisters of Life,” and I felt extremely peaceful while I was there.  I felt a peace that I never felt before.  I thought could this be the place that God was calling me to spend the rest of my life.  In reality even though I was visiting orders and said yes to Jesus at that retreat, I was not ready to lay my life down for Christ.  I kept asking myself “Aulina, why do you want to become a nun?”  Why do you want to walk that path?”  I went on for months but could not answer that question.  Until a year later I went back for another come and see weekend with “The Sisters of Life.”  I remember the sisters conversing about what it means to be a sister.  It was as if they knew the desires of my heart, one of which is the desire to bring souls to God.  Throughout that weekend the Lord continued to reveal His love for me.  The more I experienced His love the more I felt unworthy of such love.  I mean the King of the universe wants me to be His bride.  That weekend was so powerful even though I was with the sisters and the inquirers it was as if I was spending the weekend alone with Jesus.  I never knew Jesus this way before.  It’s as if I just discovered a treasure in a field and now I want to dig more and more.  My relationship with Jesus was changed that weekend.  I began a new journey with the Lord.  There, that weekend, the Lord gave me the grace to finally answer the question of “Why do I want to be a nun?”  The answer was “Love.”  I finally realized how much I was in love with Jesus. It was as if I was struck by cupid’s arrow.  Now my heart burns with this great love and desire for Jesus that no human being can ever satisfy.

            I experienced Jesus in a way that I never thought was possible that weekend.  It was so tangible that when I went home after the amazing weekend a few of my friends and youth group members noticed a physical change in me.  They came up to me and said “Aulina your face looks different and you look transformed.”  The love and joy of God was radiating through me.  I knew that the only reason why I felt so much joy and peace was because of God’s mercy.  I don’t deserve this.  I am not worthy to be called but Jesus tells me in Lamentation chapter 3 VS 22 “The favors of the Lord are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent; they are renewed each morning.” 

            In order for me to respond to God’s call to become His bride as a “Sister of Life”, I must be debt free.  My debt of $25,000 in Education loans is a great impediment in pursuing the desires of my heart to be bethrone to the Eternal King.  However, Nothing is Impossible with God.  There is an organization called the “Laboure Foundation” which relies entirely on the generosity of benefactors that has been established to help those with educational loans who desire to enter religious life.  They have created a personal account for me, and all donations are tax-deductible.

            Please prayerfully consider helping me to fulfill my hearts greatest desire by giving a donation.  Checks may be made payable to the Laboure Foundation.  Please note Aulina Presendieu on the memo line of the check.  Checks can be sent to the following address:

The Laboure Foundation
Cy D. Laurent - Chairman of the Board
1620 Johnny Cake Ridge Lane
Eagan, MN 55122

Please don’t forget to specify my name, Aulina Presendieu

I thank you in advance for all your help and prayers and please be sure of my prayers!

Praise be Jesus and Mary,

Aulina Presendieu