Not a Punishment, But a Blessing

C. Mike Frank

A vocation to the priesthood or religious life can sometimes be misunderstood as a punishment from God rather than a blessing. We must first clear this idea up; at least for me that was the first obstacle. I thought to myself one sunny afternoon while reading Sacred Scripture, if God is truly calling me to the priesthood it has to be because of all the sins I committed in the past, and believe me there were a lot of them. I had no real relationship with God until I was about 18. Up to that point I was engaging in all types of illegal and immoral things that I knew were wrong, but didn’t really care. But about 2 weeks after I turned 18 I found myself in the back of a patty wagon. Well, after that I knew I needed a change.  Through my past knowledge of God and His Church that I learned from my Catholic education, God bless my teachers, I knew the mercy of God was available, so I quickly turned to Him.

From that point on I made a conscious decision, through the grace of God, to turn from my ways and seek the life He wanted me to live. Sure it took time and their were always ups and downs and still are, but God was always faithful. He was my daddy in His fatherhood, my brother in Jesus, my consoler in the Holy Spirit and my mamma in Mary. Through my process of seeking the will of God, I felt called to the priesthood.

Was it something I wanted unconsciously my whole life and didn't know it, or an illusion, or a punishment? All these questions and emotions immediately enveloped my entire being and I could not stop pondering this. I always said, “sorry God, but, I don’t think so, it’s too hard; no wife, no real career, means no satisfaction.” There is a bunch more reasons that I could think of for not doing it as well. So I always hardened my heart and turned away.

However, as time progressed I began to experience God’s love in a profound intimate way. This was at first scary, yet thrilling, and I had to go deeper in my relationship with God. More and more, God became the true love of my life and quickly showed me how much more fulfilling and awesome His love was, than those other things that I filled my life with.

So, as I matured (and still am very much so), God spoke to my heart one day while reading Sacred Scripture and asked, “Choose.”  Let me ask you a question, how can you say no to the person that your in love with (think of your Dad or mom, a husband or a wife, a boyfriend or a girlfriend)? And truly, God is in love with me and I with Him. Nothing could take me away from Him, except the sinful part of myself. So, because of his love for me and solely based on that I said , “Yes”, not knowing what the future would bring, but realizing that by saying yes to God at that moment in my life that it would mean that I would now consciously and actively pursue discerning a vocation to the priesthood or religious life.

When I made this decision it was the most freeing moment of my life. So I have responded to God’s call to seek out God’s invitation to love Him. Yes, an invitation of love, not a decree or punishment, but rather a invitation to love Him fully with all that I am and have undividedly. Why, because He loves me to the point of death. That is one of the greatest mysteries of our faith, God’s head over heels in infinite love with humanity and assumed our human nature only to serve and ultimately give His life for us. So with a love like that how can you say no? I couldn’t, and there are some other reasons why I said yes to God’s will, but this and this alone I do believe is the sustaining element of my discernment. Love, Charity, Aros, however you want to say it, that is what a vocation is. A father holding his child and caring for him and providing for his every need, and all he asks for is a kiss on the cheek in return.

If you feel called or desire to pursue priesthood or religious life, acknowledge your weakness and feelings about this topic and seek counsel from a priest or religious person. Above all, pray, pray, pray. Give your vocation over to Mary, the Queen of Vocations and our model in responding to God’s will. Her perfect yes to the archangel Gabriel to bear the Savior of the world is our model of perfection in responding to the will of God, whatever it may be. Spend some time before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament reposed in the tabernacle or in Eucharistic adoration. He is more present there than anywhere else in the entire universe (theological fact). He loves you, my brothers and sisters, so much, and He longs for you to be there much more than we desire to be there. 

Our Holy Father John Paul II says continually, “Do not be afraid” and beg Jesus to help you not to be afraid, because we all are. So please pray for me as I continue to discern God’s calling for me in my life and I will pray for you. Remember that we do not live this life to obtain a prize or treasure here on earth, but we look to the hope that lies before us, which is our eternal life where we will be fully united to the most intimate lover of all, God Himself. I pray God will bless you abundantly and grant you His peace, and Mary keep you in her mantle of love, and St. Joseph be your guide.